Llamas with hats sentence meme

reqviemaeterna:

“There’s a dead human in our house.”

“I don’t kill people, that’s my least favorite thing to do.”

“And I uh, stabbed him 37 times in the chest.”

“How could you not know that?”

“I’m in the wrong here I suck.”

“What happened to his hands?”

“My stomach was making the rumblies, that only hands could solve." 

"What is wrong with you?!”

“Well I kill people and eat them, so that’s two.”

“You sunk an entire cruise ship.”

“Then you started making out with the ice sculptures!”

“Why is the lifeboat all red and sticky?”

“Well they were, uh, they were taking all the croissant rolls.”

“I have a problem. I have a serious problem.”

“Shhh! D’you hear that? That’s the sound of forgiveness.”

“That is what forgiveness sounds like. Screaming and then silence.”

“In that case i should probably mention that all our luggage is filled with orphan meat.”

“I’m building a meat dragon and any meat won’t do.”

“You know what? Forget it I’m not even shocked any more.”

“Why don’t you blow out your candle? “

“It’s hard to hear you over the sound of melting city.”

“ I ripped the tag off a mattress.”

“And friend ship is two pals munching on a well roasted face together.”

“I think I’m gonna throw - oh, one just touched me.”

“I’m a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence.”